Hi, I'm a TSA screener.  I'd rather not show my face, as too many camp guards in WW2 got in trouble that way.

You'd best follow all your friend's advice -- be nice to me, do everything I say or ask no matter how demeaning, try not to look suspicious.  Just think of yourself as a French Citizen trying to get through a Nazi checkpoint without being detained -- or renditioned.  The Airport may be public property built with your tax dollars, a place where all the Airlines are engaged in public free enterprise -- but the Constitution stops at the door.  You're in my little dictatorship now.  Your papers had better be in order!



So now that we won't even let you lock your checked bags, and you want to be secure in your papers and effects, you've decided to drag it all on the plane.  And you even read the new pamphlet about which of your possessions are legal to bring with you on the plane?    I'll bet you missed:

"To ensure everyone's security, the TSO may determine that an item not on the prohibited items chart is prohibited.  In addition, the TSO may also determine that an item on the permitted chart is dangerous and therefore may not be brought through the security checkpoint."

"Items that are voluntarily abandoned or confiscated by a law enforcement officer cannot be recovered and will not be returned to you.  Property claims for these items will also be denied by TSA."

"If you bring a prohibited item to the checkpoint, you may be criminally and/or civilly prosecuted or, at the least, asked to rid yourself of the item.  A transportation security officer (TSO – formerly a screener) and/or law enforcement officer will make this determination, depending on what the item is and the circumstances.  Bringing a prohibited item to a security checkpoint – even accidentally – is illegal."

Now I try to be courteous.  For example -- when I'm running my hands across your genitals or breasts, I will switch to the back side of my hand.  Won't that make it all better?  Of course, using the back side of my hand, I will need to take a much longer "look."

One more note -- lord help you if our $50K magic explosive sniffer box does not like you!!  If you are a farmer, or work in a greenhouse, or -- heaven forbid -- work with nasty explosives -- it's simple.  Just don't fly, or you'll wind up standing in your underwear while we X-Ray your jeans.

For the ladies out there, I'm not allowed to pat down your chest unless some alarm goes off, or you have some lump:

"Patting down the chest area will now only be conducted if it alarms a hand-held metal detector or there is an irregularity or anomaly in the person's clothing outline.  Unless these criteria are met, screeners will only pat down a line below the chest area to the waist, followed by a pat-down of the individual's entire back."

"The changes are in line with a recent recommendation of the 9/11 Commission Report that all passengers selected for additional screening be checked for explosives.
Additional screening, including pat-down searches, may be required of passengers based on visual observations by screeners, even if an audible alarm has not gone off."

Now here is a fun little encounter.  The first video will tell the story.  The second three are real audio (about 20 minutes total) of a full-of-shit TSO pretending he is some big-time TV detective.  He is very careful not to answer any of the questions he is asked, because he doesn't have anything to back up his bluff.

You see, a TSO is not a law enforcement officer.  They are not allowed to detain you, arrest you, make you go anywhere, keep you anywhere.  They don't have handcuffs and if they touch you without your permission that is a battery.

Now let's keep this straight.  Once you pass the entrance of a TSA screening checkpoint, you do not have the option to to turn around and leave, that is illegal.  But if you do leave, all the TSA screener can do is follow you around the airport and call in your position.  Then a honest-to-goodness trained as a law enforcement officer will arrest you if he feels he has probable cause.

Now in this case the TSA screener refuses to answer any questions such as "Am I free to leave?", which in the manner answered by him implies he wasn't free to leave.  He could be sued or arrested.  He also makes it sound like he was going to handcuff the guy and take him to the police station or the DEA.  He can't, and the treats that he might are not legal.

This screener is a perfect example of what happens when you give some little Hitler some minor powers, let him do everything in screener, have him regulated by regulations not available for public inspection.  He goes to town fucking over people, making empty threats, telling them lies.

And it shows that. once again, someone want to do something for one stated purpose -- make sure you aren't going to hurt the airplane or passenegers -- into a fishing expedition.  Like pulling people over for no seatbelt, really to have a look inside their car.  The TSA has been told they may no longer do this -- if it doesn't effect airplane safety it is none of their business.  Yeah, I'll hold my breath on that one.

The terrorists must see this stuff going on in what use to be a country proud of our freedom, see this stuff and laugh their heads off!
 

And one last video to make you proud.  I thought we arrested people who do this to children?

.
 

"Necessity is  the plea for every infringement of human freedom.
It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." --William Pitt, The Younger (1759-1806), British statesman.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
 deserve neither liberty nor safety." --Benjamin Franklin

May I see your.papersplease.org?